Author: Janet Post

I know this is a weird thought, but horses do not like stepping on people. We’re squishy. The human body does not feel like secure footing to a horse so if they can and they want to, they will avoid stepping on you.

I once had a horse that would occasionally freak out when you put your foot into the stirrup preparing to mount. I knew this, but since it was something she’d never done to me before, I forgot. Bad idea. I was getting ready to pony my other horse off of her. I put one foot in the stirrup, grabbed some mane, and the mare exploded. I fell onto my back with two horses freaking out right on top of me. I thought I was dead for sure. When they both ran off, I sat up and examined myself. No bruises, no fractures, nothing was squished. I did, however, have hoof prints all over my shirt. The horses knew I was there and avoided stomping on me.

My husband the farrier used to rodeo. He had a stallion he rode all the time. After the rodeo he put Satan, great name, into the trailer and then went of and got roaring drunk. He found his trailer, crawled into the stall with Satan and passed out. In the morning, he was wet because the stud peed all over him, but never stepped on him. He was wet and the stud was sick of being locked in the trailer, but not stepped on.

Now horses know exactly where their feet are. I hear what you’re saying. How can that be? For one thing, do you know where your feet are? Of course you do and just because a horse has four does not mean he’s lost track of them. When I was a polo groom, I had one horse that would intentionally step on your foot if given the chance. I found that out the hard way. Broken toes. Boots can only do so much. He would watch out of the corner of his eye, and when I stupidly stepped in close to put on his bridle, he nailed my foot. He’d been waiting.

So, even though a horse won’t step on you, does not mean they won’t stomp on your foot, especially if by doing so they can avoid work. Horses only do one thing voluntarily and that’s eat. Some are kinder and more willing and some less. So always be careful, and know if a stampede of horses is headed your way, hide.

So you can’t write a sex scene

By Janet Post

My writing partner for erotica, believe it or not, is my daughter, Mel. She’s a bartender/restaurant manager with three kids and she knows stuff, for example, stuff about looners (people who include balloons in their sexual activity . . .  I know) and plushies (stuffed animal/costume freaks). You really have to have some kind of experiences of your own to draw from if you want to write real sex scenes that touch the readers. And there are a couple of rules we came up with.

First–do your research. We write m/m, paranormal, kinky romance. I know–pretty out there. But we do our research. I watched a lot of gay porn, read guy on guy erotica and Mel has a lot of gay friends. They have no problem telling her the most intimate things in graphic detail. Thank god.

Second–sex scenes are scenes in your story and as such must have a purpose. They have to move the story line along in some way. This is how it works, your couple gets together and one whispers a secret to the other one. A sex scene may be the critical moment in the relationship, either a commitment moment or a breakup moment. It can be an important milestone in your character’s personal growth. But whatever it is, it has to have a purpose.

Third–euphemisms have been terribly maligned. I’m here to tell you they are a must. And you need to choose them carefully. If the moment is tender, use softer euphemisms. If it’s rough, guy-on-guy sex between two paranormal characters use rougher euphemisms. If you have two guys making love and you’re in the macho guy’s head use different euphemisms than  if you were in the softer guy’s head. Make what they call their parts part of their character.

Fourth and most important–sex scenes are action scenes. Be careful with the length of your sentences. Keep the verbs hot and energetic. Always try to stay out of passive voice. Don’t put too much introspection into the sex scene itself, leave it for the afterglow. Watch the redundancies, especially with proper names and pronouns, think about each word you put into a sentence. Moment in time and location can add a lot to your sex scenes. Is this the critical sex scene that seals the commitment or just a one-night stand?

And there you have it; four steps to writing a great sex scene. Don’t forget they are always emotional in some way, passion is great but is one of them cheating, is there guilt, is there fear of loss? Now go for it.

Drawing by Janet Post

Writing with a Partner

Writing with a partner can be an uplifting experience filled with highs, laughter, and an exchange of ideas like no other. Or it can collapse into disaster losing you a friend and writing partner. I’ve experienced both. Here’s what I learned.

Have you ever wrestled with writer’s block? Sat at your computer staring at a blank page with nothing in your head but air? Ever know a reporter, personally? A reporter goes to work, sits at a desk piled with interviews to write up, events she’s covered to write about, and cut-lines for photos to create. Reporters don’t have time to wait for their muse to kick in. They must write, write well, and write prolifically.

That’s easier said than done when all the ideas are entirely your own and you must come up with an entire novel. Brainstorming with a partner can kick-start the plotting process and help you come up with imaginative characters.

I wrote with two of my adult children. I think the writing and the rapid-fire exchange of terrific and inspired ideas made writing the books I did with them a joy. I wrote eighteen erotic romances with my daughter. She was a bartender and heard stories and saw a side of life I did not. Her expertise on the seedy side of life, added to my knowledge and enabled us to create books with great characters and rich experiences. All are published under her name, Melanie Thompson.

The books I wrote with my son were all Young Adult. He’s a middle-school teacher with a vast knowledge of what appeals to young men and women. It helped that he had a teenaged son. His ideas were amazing. The books we wrote together flowed from brainstorming sessions that filled pages of notebooks. The YA was published under his name, Gabe Thompson.

Those were two of my writing-with-a-partner experiences. The third one was terrible. I’ve analyzed it carefully and decided at least one of the partners needs to have some authority to make it work. The third writing partner was an author but also an editor. I did the bulk of the writing so I felt like the story should go a certain way. She felt it should go a different way and brought in a Beta reader I didn’t know to bolster her opinion. She gave the reader editing authority on track changes and at that point, the writing collapsed. I believe that came from her thinking she had the authority and me thinking I had it. We collided in a very unpleasant way and our relationship has never recovered.

There are some real things to think about when writing in a genre containing characters with which you are not familiar. Getting help may be the way to solve some of the difficulties. Say you have a contract to write four chick lit books about women and the men they meet in the city. There you are, fiftyish, living in the country with your dogs, no friends in the thirty-something world, living the modern dating scene. Or maybe that’s the kind of book you want to write because it’s what you read. However, you don’t have any ideas about characters. Enter that friend you met in creative writing in college. She now lives in New York and is working in the restaurant world. Time to reconnect. She knows the people and the world. You went on and became a writer. Together, you have all the right stuff to create a great chick lit book.

Now imagine you’re in the same situation. You’ve published chick lit for five years but you’re tired of it. Young Adult is hot. You have grandkids or nieces and nephews in the right age group, but essentially you need to know more about kids; what they do, what they like, how they behave in school. It’s time to find a friend who teaches in high school, or you need to volunteer at the Y, at a high school, and learn the hard way. A co-writer who already knows kids is really the perfect answer. That person can give you plot ideas, help you create believable characters, and when you get stuck, can help you out.

There have been many successful writing duos. These two have penned best seller after best seller. Lincoln Child wrote a long article on the process he and Preston went through to tone and perfect their partnership. Child said, “Our collaborative process has changed significantly in the twenty-five—alas, yes, twenty-five—years since we started writing novels together. Initially, Doug (who at the time had more experience writing professionally, albeit nonfiction) wrote the first drafts of the majority of the chapters. I (as a former trade editor at a New York publishing house who spent a great deal of time not only editing manuscripts but at times suggesting wholesale revisions to the underlying plots) wrote up the initial chapter outlines, and then rewrote Doug’s drafts.”

Some other writing pairs that may surprise you: J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, H.P. Lovecraft and Harry Houdini, Matt Stone and Trey Parker who started as two college buddies trying to crack each other up, became the comedy genius behind South Park, BASEketball, The Book of Mormon, and others, and Stephen King and Tabitha King.

Even if it doesn’t work out for you. Even if you think you could never work with someone else or don’t like sharing, if you want to write something big, with aspects or elements you know nothing about, and you have a friend who can collaborate with you and wants to take on the project; consider it. Writing with a partner can take some of the load off your shoulders. Input from a different viewpoint can make your work more interesting and better. And who doesn’t want that?

Bio

I live in a swamp with seven dogs, mostly rescues, my fourth husband, and an adopted daughter who is now sixteen. It’s from her I get knowledge of young adult writing. She’s quick to criticize and give me advice.

My son, Gabe Thompson, and I have partnered to write eight young adult books. Gabe teaches middle school. The first book of our series, The Vagrant Chronicles, Vagrant, has received four awards, two Best Books, one New Adult and one Science Fiction, an International Best Book for Science Fiction, and an Apple. The second book in the series, Mutant, just came out.

My first published novel was a Cracker Western, Alligator Gold, published by Pineapple Press. I wrote that when I retired from my job as a reporter. I have another Cracker Western, Cracker Justice, coming out next year. I went to a Florida Writers Association conference and met Lori Perkins. She encouraged me to write for her, so I wrote erotic romance with my daughter under her name Melanie Thompson for Ravenous Romance and then Start Media. I have over 30 published novels.

I just published The Young Adult Writers Journey, a complete how-to book for anyone wanting to write young adult fiction.

This character chart is a little over the top, however, if you fill most of it out and keep it, you will know your character so well, his or her story should just flow from your keyboard.

Character’s Full Name:   _________________________________________

Date book takes place:     _________________________________________

GENERAL INFO:

Name origin:

Nickname, if any (if so, explain its origin – e.g. who created it?):

Does s/he like the nickname?

Birth date:

Place of birth:

Ethnic background:

Religion:

Degree of religious practice (e.g. orthodox, casual, lapsed):

Current address:

Does s/he rent or own?

Brief description of home (apartment, house, trailer, etc.):

Does s/he live with anyone?

Describe the area in which s/he lives (big city, town, rural, other):

Is this his/her ideal home and location? If not, what would s/he prefer?

Home decor (check all that apply):   ___ Expensive ___ Inexpensive

___ Carefully planned ___ Comfortable ___ Neat ___ Cluttered

When someone walks in, what’s his/her first impression?

Pets?     ___ No (why?) ___ Yes If yes, what kind and how many? Name(s)?  How important are they? How well are they treated?

Current occupation (include length of time, location, job title):

Job satisfaction (happy, discontent, ambitious…):

Income level:

Education:

Does s/he drive? What kind of car does s/he own, if any? (Make, model, color, age, etc.):

Sexuality? (e.g. straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, unsure…):

Marital status:

If married or currently romantically involved, with whom, and for how long?

List any significant previous romantic partners:

For current spouse/partner, what does the character call him/her (pet names, nicknames, etc.)?

How did they meet?

Any children (include names, ages, other parent if different from current partner)?

Describe relationship with each child (if any):

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

Height:

Weight:

What is his/her body type (skinny, slim, athletic, curvy, overweight, muscular, etc.)?

Eye color?

Does s/he use glasses? Contacts? Hearing aid?

Skin tone (pale, ivory, ruddy, tan, olive,  brown, black, etc.):

Any prominent features, freckles/moles/scars/tattoos/ other distinguishing marks?

Face shape (round, oval, chubby, thin, long, square, heart­shaped, etc.)?

Whom does s/he most look like (e.g. famous person or relative)?

General health (good, excellent, poor…)?

Any chronic conditions?

Any current health problems?

How does s/he dress (mark as many as PRICE: appropriate):

__ Expensive     __ Average     __ Inexpensive   __  Cheap

STYLE: __  Haute Couture  __  Conservative  __  Trendy    __  Eclectic   __  Business

__ Sexy    __  Gaudy    __  Casual  __ Sloppy

Does s/he dress to be noticed? Why?

Any special jewelry? If so, why is it special?

Other accessories:

Grooming:          ___ Every hair in place, very neat (Why?) ___ Average grooming

___ Clean but sloppy ___ Unkempt (Why?)

Hairstyle

(long, short, crewcut, locs, bangs, side­part etc.):

Natural hair texture (thick, thin, wiry, smooth, wavy, curly, nappy, etc.):

Current hair texture (if different from above):

Natural hair color:

Current hair color (if different from above):

SPEECH AND LANGUAGE/COMMUNICATION:

Pace (does s/he talk fast, average, slow?):

Accent or dialect, if any:

Voice tone  (shrill, high, average, deep, squeaky, hoarse, harsh, authoritative, cultured, etc.):

Any favorite/habitual words/phrases or curse words?

Describe general vocabulary or speech pattern (e.g. educated, precise, pretentious, average, childish, uneducated, vulgar…):

Mannerisms/demeanor? ___ Cool/confident

___ Volatile/moody ___ Nervous/fidgety/shy ___ Other?

Typical posture: ___ Stiff and rigid___ Stands straight but not stiffly

___ Average, varies with mood ___ Slumped and defeated ___ Slouchy, careless

___ Relaxed ___ Other

Gestures:   ___ Doesn’t gesture much ___ Deliberate and controled ___ Only when excited/upset ___ Most of the time ___ Wildly/weirdly

Common gestures (e.g. nail­biting, hair patting, drumming fingers, clenched fists, hands in pockets, etc.):

EVERYDAY BEHAVIOR / HABITS:

Finances: (prudent/cautious, average w/some debt, lives paycheck to paycheck, deep in debt, criminal activity, etc.):

Describe any personal habits, e.g. smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc. Are any of these addictions?

Morning Routine:

Describe the character’s morning rituals.

Who else is sleeping in the same bed? What time does he/she wake up? Is he/she cheerful in the morning? What wakes

him/her up ­­ alarm, spouse/lover, kids, pet? What does he/she do during breakfast­ read, watch tv, feed kids, etc.

Afternoon/Workday:

Now describe the character’s workday or afternoon behavior. Does s/he work outside the home? How does he/she get there?

Does he/she anticipate, dread, resent the work ahead? Does s/he give the job genuine attention and effort? Does s/he enjoy this work? Is s/he good at this job? What would he/she rather be doing? How long and hard is the work day?

Does s/he stop for lunch? Where?

Dinner:

Does s/he eat at home or go out a lot? If the latter, what is/are his or her favorite restaurant(s)? At home, who prepares the meal? Who does he/she eat it with? What does it typically consist of? What goes on during dinner ­­ tv, conversation, fighting, reading, etc? Who cleans up?

Evening:

What does your character do on a typical evening? Where? With whom? How much does he/she enjoy it? What is the ideal evening for him or her?

Bedtime:

Does he/she go to bed at a consistent time?

Alone or with someone else? Does s/he usually fall asleep right way, or is s/he an insomniac? Does he/she dream ­­ a lot, a little, never? Are most of his/her dreams scary, pleasant, sexual, imaginative? Are there any recurring dreams? Does s/he sleep well or poorly (e.g. tossing & turning)?

Skills/Talents:

What is s/he particularly unskilled at?

Any hobbies (sports, arts, collecting, gaming, etc.):

THE PAST:

Home town (if different from current home):

Was his/her childhood happy? Troubled? Dull? (And does the character remember it accurately?)

Earliest memory:

Saddest memory:

Happiest memory:

How much school did s/he attend, if any? Did/does s/he like school? Why or why not?

Most significant childhood event:

Other significant childhood events, if any?

Significant past jobs:

Any police record? If so, what was the arrest for? When/where? Convictions? Sentence(s) served?

First crush or romantic love?

What was his/her first sexual experience? Is it a positive/negative memory?

Major accidents or traumas?  How is s/he still affected, if at all?

FAMILY OF ORIGIN:

Mother’s name (include maiden name if known/applicable):

Mother’s current status: ___ living ___ deceased (If living, her age: ____)

Mother’s occupation, if any:

Describe the mother’s relationship with character:

Father’s name:

Father’s current status: ___ living ___ deceased (If living, his age: ____)

Father’s occupation, if any:

Describe the father’s relationship with character:

Any step­parents, foster parents, or birth parents (if not same as above):

If s/he is adopted, does s/he know?

Any siblings (include age and birth order, i.e. relative to main character):

Relationship with each:

Nieces/Nephews, if any:

In­Laws, if any:

Other than the above, who else in the story is part of his/her extended family (e.g.

cousins, aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc.)?

RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS:

Who, if anyone, is his/her best or closest friend? Other close friends:

How in general does s/he react to or is perceived by… Friends? Strangers?

Spouse/Lover? Past spouse/lovers?

Own children, if any?

Other family members

Children in general?

Others who are more successful?

Others who are less successful?

Boss (if any)?

Underlings at work?

Competitors?

Authority (police, IRS, politicians, attorneys, doctors, etc.)?

Anyone who challenges him or her?

Anyone who angers him or her?

Anyone who asks for help?

What do most people consider likeable about him/her?

What do most people consider his/her biggest flaw?

Any secret attractions? If so, does the other person know it? Has there been any actual romantic/sexual activity?

In romantic relationships, is s/he generally monogamous or uncommitted? (If the latter, is s/he honest w/ partners?)

Is his/her sexual behavior inhibited, average, experimental, or reckless? Has this changed (and if so, why)?

Whom does s/he dislikes most, and why?

Whom does s/he like most, and why?

Who’s the most important person in his/her life right now, and why?

Whom does s/he admire (nonromantic), and why?

Biggest influence, and why (famous or not)?

Whom (if anyone) does s/he consider an enemy, and why?

Person s/he most misunderstands or misjudges:

Person who most misunderstands or misjudges him or her:

Has s/he’s lost touch with anyone who was once significant in his/her life? If so, why?

Worst end of a relationship (could be friend, romantic, colleague…)

Whom does s/he most rely on for practical advice?

Whom does s/he most rely on for emotional support?

Whom, if anyone, does s/he support (e.g. advice or emotional support)?

MENTAL ATTITUDE/PERSONAL BELIEFS:

Any psychological issues (e.g. phobias,  depression, paranoia, narcissism, etc.)?

Is s/he an optimist or pessimist?

Meyers Briggs Personality Type:  (Don’t know? Take a sample test for your character.)

Most comfortable when …  (alone, hanging w/friends, drinking, etc.):

Most uncomfortable when …  (in a crowd, alone, speaking in public, etc.:

Is s/he cautious, brave, or reckless  in his/her approach to life?

What does s/he most value/prioritize? (family, money, success, religion, etc.)

Whom does he/she really love best?

What would he/she be willing to die for?

Is s/he generally compassionate, sensitive to others? Or self­involved/selfish/oblivious?

Personal philosophy:

What is his/her biggest embarrassment?

What is his/her greatest wish?

Any prejudices (race, culture, sexuality, religion, etc.)?

Political party or beliefs, if any:

Does s/he believe in fate or destiny? Is s/he superstitious?

Character’s greatest strength:

Character’s greatest flaw:

Other good characteristics:

Other character flaws:

What are his/her own favorite attributes  (physical and personality)?

What about least favorite?

Are these feelings accurate?

How does s/he think others perceive him or her? (And is this accurate?)

Biggest regret:

Proudest accomplishment:

Biggest secret(s):   Does anyone else know these secrets? If yes, how were the secrets revealed?

How does s/he react to a crisis?

What usually causes the problems in his/her life (romance, finances, friends, colleagues, personality flaws, health, etc.)?

How does s/he react to change?

Quirks:

What would s/he most like to change about her­/himself, and why?

Short term goals:

Long term goals:

Does s/he plan to achieve these goals, or does s/he think they’re unrealistic?

Will others be affected? If yes, does it matter to the character?

What, if anything, is stopping him/her from achieving these goals?

What does he/she actively work to gain, keep or protect?

What event or occurrence does s/he most dread or fear?

Which person in his/her life would s/he most want to emulate?

Which person in his/her life would s/he least want to emulate?

LIKES/FAVORITES:

Food:

Drink:

Color:

Book:

Film:

Music/Song:

TV:

Sport:

Motto/Quote:

Hangout(s):

Possession:

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This chart may be reprinted as long as above credit is included